Feeling blue... wondering about the meaning of "what we can and cannot control"...

 

 Hello there,

Feeling blue tonight, after a few nice productive days.

Since the killing of Nahel in Nanterre, so near to us, I've been feeling really poorly, and so anxious, and I've realised that most French people are still not ready to speak about it, engage, empathise or care.

Luckily, I know a lot of concerned people, people who have experienced racism, and people who have experienced it here in France.

But with the others... Silence. 

If not this advice: "Don't focus on what you can't control..."

Like we choose to "focus" on it. Again that narrative.

Do I reply to these friends, when they reached out crying that their garden has been messed up by the bad weather, or their property doesn't sell quickly enough, that they should focus on "what they can control"?

I don't, but maybe I should...

Meanwhile, no one is listening.

When the Colston statue was toppled in Bristol in 2020, during a Black Lives Matter protests, we all got to talk about the issue constantly for weeks. And not only about "blackness" or slavery, but about colonialism, history and their consequence on our daily lives. About systemic inequalities.

Here, now, in Paris, in France, what do I get? 

Denial, silence, disinterest, distance, blame... 

So I turned to my "other" best friend, YouTube.

Here is a useful short video, and advice for privileged people: Do get interested in history, and ask your friend 'how are you doing?'

Is it better to stay silent? The American white journalist ask.

No, the counselor says...

Wouldn't you have guessed? Seriously... 

Anyway, if you need guidance, here is a suggestion where to start.

Thanks for reading,
m

Counselor advises white people on talking with black friends about racism