50 shades of silence

In this world of noises, television, high-speed tunnel visual, multimedia platforms, social media and personal screaming, one could think silence is a bliss and a blessing.

And it is.

But is is not a easy task for a voice, a writer, a communicator to learn to master silence.

Silence was, during my childhood, synonymous of lack of communication. Lack of bounding, self-expression and discussion. Synonymous of lack. Of something missing.

But noise can sometimes be so much harmful.

I'm learning a lot of lessons. And silence is indeed a blessing. Only in the silence can we feel the sound of belonging. Silence the mind, and listen to the eternity calling. 

Silence has a deep spiritual value that i had to conquest and master before I even begin to fathom its depth.

Silence is the space between keynotes that makes the music come alive...

Silence also tried to teach me the meaning and blessing of patience.

So many years of running, doing, trying, talking, writing. Ten years ago I left Paris for Miami, reported on the McCain / Obama campaign, travelled to Haiti and wrote about the Cuban American communities... I did too much, too quickly and only fed the monster that was my fear of the void and the silence... Losing everything that I thought I had, friends, love, family.

Just like in this song:

P J Harvey - 'Silence'

"Silence"

All those places
Where I recall the memories
That gripped me
And pinned me down

I go to these places
Intending to think
To think of nothing
No anticipate

And somehow expect
You'll find me there
That by some miracle
You'd be aware

I'd risen this morning
Determined to break
The spell of my longing
And not to think

I freed myself from my family
I freed myself from work
I freed myself
I freed myself
And remained alone

And in my thinking
Steal you away
Though you never wanted me
Anyway

Silence
Silence
Silence
Silence

(White Chalk)

-

Of course, the losses were necessary. It was all for the best.

Back from America, worn-off by its contradictions and lies, I came back to Europe and simply went through my first death.

Months of silence. Then mourning. New dawn. Renaissance. Rebirth.

-

Ten years later, so much has changed. I moved to England after that symbolic death, I later moved to Africa. I relived the journey of many of my ghosts. Made new friends. Learnt so much.

Yet, this year, I'm facing my relationship with silence again. maybe it is a spiraling process, a way the universe has to check if I've really learnt anything.

So much silence. Family members gone mute. Friends who simply turnt off. Work partners who cut off communication.

Well, I'll retreat into silence again if I must. I now know silence didn't kill me, other things did. And what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Time for a silent spring.

-

-

And then, we'll talk again, for sure. Maybe not these ones and I, maybe other people. 

But just like there'll always be silence between the keynotes, in music, there will always be keynotes between the silences...

-

PJ HARVEY - 'Passionless, Pointless'

Lyrics:

Let's Talk

Let's talk

Let the dirt fall

Let Heads Roll

No kind hand is reaching out for me tonight

I slept facing the wall

I dreamt of buildings in pieces

You slept facing the wall

And you wanted less than I wanted

Passionless, Pointless.

Where does the passion go? I'm asking

There's no kindness in your hands

No reaching out for me tonight

You slept facing the wall

And you wanted less than I wanted

I slept facing the wall

But when I met you how did you enter? 

I don't remember

How did we ever?

Artists: PJ Harvey, John Parish

Album: A Woman a Man Walked By

Released: 2009