Hello rainy August. You must know that in my head, I'm in sunny Naples so it doesn't matter that darkness fell over my windowpane at 3.45pm...
Anyway, you did steal my thunder, rainy weather. I had a lot to read and even more to write about, but you drained my energy away.
Yesterday was such a simple, lovely day of daydreams. Today had to bring back some balance, or it would seem unfair. For I'm such a lucky woman, always have been. Such a protected soul, wandering the earth with all her dreams coming through and true. Every project I accomplished, as little as it was, was always deemed "impossible" by someone before I finally mastered it. From entering the University programmes I waned to getting this or that job. But I always did. Enter or get it.
Now, while I've realised my deepest and most important dream, publishing a book, how it is that I feel like I cannot be heard? I feel my voice is stifled. It does not go far enough... It cannot cross the walls I want to overcome...
I've been a journalist for more than 12 years and it seems that the more important a subject is, the more obstacles there are on the road of its release... Like that day when I crossed half of Kenya to talk to women who had gotten rid of the men in their village because they were so violent, but they finally didn't want to talk to us when we arrived... My biggest regret in a journalism experience.
It is hard to publish on the refugee crisis, it is hard to publish on police brutality and inequality and discrimination. And working freelance is adding hardship to the hardness.
But August is a month of rest and recuperation before the preparation. In France, September is baptized "la rentrée". New beginnings, new start.
I wanted to dedicate this month and July to finish my work on the English version of my book about Bristol and Massive Attack... but that wasn't possible. The British publishers are too busy, not concerned enough. And there is the situation in the UK... It is a disaster, really. Almost as worrying as in the United States.
So everything I wanted to organise there is on hold. And so I'm moving on...
My two other book projects have also been put on hold too... By my French publisher this time. So I'm working on two other projects!
What else shall one do? We need to be resilient! We need to fight for our rights and help show the truth.
I'll tell more about all this when it comes to fruition... A film with a brilliant filmmaker might be possible. My own documentary film that I've been trying to bring to life for two years. A biography and two other books, about Africa for one, and the relations between Africa and Europe for the second. Even a play maybe!
Then, we'll see.
Until then, I wish to all the truth workers a great amount of strength and... well, resilience.
I could post pictures from my holidays in Naples two years ago... But well, that was back then.
Here is a painting by Erté, my painter of the summer. I hope that'll do.
It inspires me a feeling of a feminine beauty dancing with the cosmos, dancing in tune with the planets and the stars, or dancing in the raindrops if you will, despite the heaviness and obstacles, she is still dancing and choosing joy.
And so am I.